her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
