I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
