how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I faked an abortion last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
