I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
