Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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