I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
