He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
