Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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