I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
