just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just cropdusted the office
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
