Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
