Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
