And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
