I just saw a hot homeless man
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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