It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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