her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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