if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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