Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize