I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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