Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize