i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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