I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize