Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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