is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize