Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
