Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
