Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with

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(650): View more from California

just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless

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(602): View more from Arizona

And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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(708): View more from Illinois

She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.

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(703): View more from Virginia

yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me

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(316): View more from Kansas

Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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(585): View more from New York

If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining

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