to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
