I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize