I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
