Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
