I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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