You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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