woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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