I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize