she looked like the bat from fern gully.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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