I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
