he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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