My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize