Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How external is "for external use only"?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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