hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
