no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
