Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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