oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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