why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
this is an emotional support booty call
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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