and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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