I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
