whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
