Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
