Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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