I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm both gender and math confused
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
