I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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