don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
