I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
