what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize