He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
