dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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