in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
