Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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