Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You should frame my arrest warrant.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
