well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
