just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
