We're facebook friends in real life
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
