Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
