some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
