next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
