Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize