I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I AM VODKA MAN
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
