I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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