Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
